British Slough:
Women at the heart of women in their late 30s/early 40s are a secret that she hates to admit. No, it’s not hiding the body in the backyard. (Not everyone can afford a garden.)
In fact, our secret is: Once upon a time, in the late 90s, our minds were the only care that a human male specimen collectively identifies as a Backstreet boy. And now, coming in July 2025, BSB is trying to take advantage of some of the embers of passion that once burned so brightly. Do you think the film industry lacks imagination when it comes to giving a sequel after that? BSB is going to do better by releasing a digitally remastered version of the Millennium Album.
If you are mildly experiencing changes in your upper age, don’t be wary. There’s nothing completely new about a digitally remastered situation other than this number, so in people’s credible terms, the only new thing that needs to be tolerated in Millennium 2.0 is six unprecedented demos and six live recordings from the BSB Millenium Tour. All the existing tracks you once knew and loved – know the word even though you haven’t heard it in 20 years – will be remastered digitally. That’s all.
Boy Band Mission Statement
Like their boy band brothers, BSB existed to teach us everything about love. We had a baby Nick Carter from the group who joined the band at age 16 and said the most amazing middle farewell with blonde hair. Nick walked so that Jack Dawson (of Titanic fame) could run. Then there was Brian Littrell, a fair best friend of Nick, cousin of fellow bandmate Kevin Richardson, and the guy who normally opened most of the BSB tracks. Brian’s favorite color was blue. Our former BSB fans may not remember picking up milk when they do groceries, but please note that they keep this information on the day the Earth is overtaken by the alien overlord.
AJ McLean was in the mandatory bang tattoo appearance, and with Nick and Brian, he got the most physical part of the song (or as flesh as it was in at least three ways). The last member of this crew was Howie Dora. Like Kevin, it melted in the background, but in the liner notes of his first Backstreet Boys album, he told me that his favorite book was John Grisham’s The Farm.
Speaking of Liner’s notes, along with the ballads stirring and looking beautiful, our Lovelorn Hotshots relied heavily on those little cassette booklets to lure fans into loyalty. These liner notes were just as important as those on the album. Keeping an eye close today, these helpful booklets detail the lyrics of every track, including pictures of moody poses, and teach fans thoughtfully to reflect on them as if they were World War I mathematicians and Enigmachords. What a beautiful, simple time to live!
Looking back at the “Millennium”
In 1999, BSB fans forever congratulated them on choosing the right side of the Battle of Backstreet Boys Sink. As a bonus, this last song included the word “Crimson,” but this is not a feat that other boy bands can boast about.
As we got older and smarter, we sighed in despair at many of the products in the K-Pop industry, but in 1999 we were able to write a paper on why the Millennium was the most important album ever produced.
I don’t think it would have been a very good paper as most of the available brain cells were hitting the album covers. To ensure maximum roaring sex, our heroes throw away the sun in the type of blind white costumes and shoes that detergent commercials prefer. Standing against the blue background, they gazed with soul into the indeterminate places lost in the kind of philosophical contemplation that they had not seen from anything like Aristotle. Perhaps they are thinking about the meaning of life, or more likely, the meaning that I want to do that depends largely on meaningless variations of the words “fire”, “desire”, “I want to do that.”
It’s what they want and why they want it to be that is a mystery no one has ever succeeded, but as the Brooklyn Nine reminded us, it’s the power of this hit track. Then it’s fitting to promote a brand new, all-new Millennium 2.0.
We are not the only ones who have grown up. They have one too. At first, they are all fathers now. Brian suffers from a medical condition that makes him difficult to sing, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Those who don’t know will be shocked by his opening poem in his recent SNL performance, but Nick – no longer a designated baby, picking up his second poem and swooping down to save his friend, and his balance will be restored.
Are there any points in Millennium 2.0? Heaven no. But I’m getting it anyway, so I can subscribe to nostalgia, revisit a simpler era (though it may have been digitally remastered), and once again try to solve the immeasurable riddles of what I want.